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Geoff and Mary's Perfect Day
(not mentioning a strawberry, some mint, a tin opener and a couple of ribs!)
On 14 July, Woodside Morris Men's Squire, Geoff Roberts, got hitched to his soul mate and Morrising muse, Mary Davies. Strangely enough, on the same day, Mary Davies, partner of our Squire Geoff, got married to her... Well, you know what I mean. Dave Dunham, best man on the day, continues his Woodside Blogging, in the absence of any other takers, and gives insight into a seriously pleasant day.
 It was an early start for me, for a Saturday morning anyway. Geoff and Mary had placed quite a trust in my being in the right place at the right time, and after my performance on the morning of Woodside's traditional tour, some might say they were touting disaster. Anyway, they new that Wayne would be there on time and Geoff was carrying the rings, so in the event of me failing to turn up, there were contingencies. Such worries needn't have disturbed them, as I turned up at Church Road in my kilt at 9.15 ready for the Morning's work.
The boys, Rhodri and Nye, were already togged up in their suits, and their cousin elect, Rebecca, was there looking very pretty in her white dress. They were mildly confused that I  too was wearing a skirt, but the boys have come to expect such of me over the last eleven years or so. Geoff's sister Vicky and Mary's Sister Wendy, with her partner Paul, were also there, having stayed over the night before.
I had taken my camera along, and started snapping away immediately, with some nice shots of everyone coming down the stairs, though I thought I would wait for Geoff and Mary to finish getting dressed before taking their pics. Rhodri and Nye were feeling a bit James Bond in their duds, and quite looking the part too. With only a few minor moments of confusion, and Geoff confirming that he had the rings - and that I wouldn't get my hands on them until the last moment before the ceremony (for insurance reasons) - we then set off for the registry office.
 The hall at Kirtlington had been booked well in advance, indeed, before any plans for the day to become a wedding celebration, as it was originally arranged as the party for Geoff's fiftieth Birthday, which is in August (but if you want Kirtlington Village Hall and the Committee Band, then you have to make some chronological sacrifices). When the plot was hatched to get married on the same day, the original idea was to have a quiet do in the morning, then announce it in the evening, but the best laid plans of mice and Morris dancers often go awry, and eventually the wedding plans broke cover, and the ceremony - originally planned for couple and witnesses, grew a little.
The ceremony was delivered wittily and spotlessly by the winner of Watford's annual John Humphries Looky-Likey competition for the last ten years. The rings, which I hadn't  managed to lose in the ten minutes since Geoff had given them to me, were handed over correctly (That is, Mary didn't get the big distended one that fitted Geoff's finger so well) and the vows were given as prescribed in the manual. Everyone decided to forever hold their piece, though there was a tense moment when the registrar popped the question; no need to worry though, with a gaggle of stick wielding morris men policing the proceedings everything went as planned.
Photos took place in the garden of the registry office, though the scenic bench out the back was only used as a back-drop, due to the abundance of bird pooh splattered liberally upon  it. After the photos, we were just packing up to head back to Church Road when Pete Flannagan turned up, just in time to get into the cars.
Back to the house, and an orgy of champaign, nibbles, banter and trampolining. Possibly orgy is a little strong a word to describe the gathering, but all of the above were well represented in the course of things; as well as a bit of a man to man chatting about the bright future and things like that.
Off to Kirtlington to set up the hall, and the hulling of what seemed at the time to be the entire strawberry produce of the south of England - and only one of them was a bit manky, which I though was quite amazing. It was at about the time that the last of the strawberries  were being prepared that the first expletive of annoyance was uttered. Things were really starting to spiral out of control; Mary had just spotted that the tin opener had been left at the house!! After a few moments of concern, the four bean salad was removed from the menu, and not mentioned again until the self congratulatory postmortem of the day back at Mary's Blackthorn cottage.
So the next thing, and a very important part of the day, was the production of a large jug of Pimms, with strawberries, cucumber and ice - but where was the mint? On the shelf next to the can opener came the reply. Following an emergency meeting, we decided sod it, and went without the mint. We did get a call out to Wayne to see if he could get some on his way up, but relaxed back into the flow of things remarkably quickly.
There was a little bit of trouble getting the ovens going for the garlic bread and the baked potatoes, but this was a minor set back in comparison to the can opener and mint, and a little persistence got them sorted nicely.
 Then people started turning up, none of them were struck into silence by the mint deficiency, and even less perplexed by the absence of a four bean salad that they weren't expecting anyway. Our laid-back attitude the the afternoon's "disasters" justified by the relaxed attitude of Geoff and Mary's guests.
The hall doubles up as the headquarters of the local cricket club, and subsequently has a pitch next to it with the church on the far side. There's also a playground for the kids with a field full of cows next to that, and the Army put on an exemplary display of parachuting for the delectation of the gathered throng.
The early afternoon consisted of people turning up either individually, in couples or in whole families, with some of the best weather seen yet this Summer. People were chatting, playing football, kite flying (courtesy of Gary Munnelly's collection), and not least, drinking from the fine selection of beverages laid on by the happy couple (particularly the Jack O' Legs and Side pocket from Tring Brewery).
 The Committee Band turned up (they're not cheap but they certainly swell the ranks of any occasion they play at) and started setting up in the main hall, and when they got going, just after half seven, it was time for Geoff and Mary to lead the dancing in a celebratory first polka of the marriage.
The band were on fine form, and the dancing was energetic. with a well filled hall and still more people outside, including most of the kids who were enjoying the balmy Summers evening. The sunset was so spectacular that I dragged Geoff and Mary out for a couple of photos against the colourful backdrop (at the suggestion  of my brother Neil).
Towards the end of the night, I had a dance with Sherry, which teetered on the edge of anarchy, with much spinning and turning and bustling around the dance floor. At the end I was so shattered that I did a Torvil and Dean, collapsing on the floor in an elegant manner. Sherry then performed a similar, however slightly less elegant, manoeuvre, which left one of my ribs in a less comfortable state. Though the splendor of the preceding dance set aside any thought of pain or suffering, until tidying up time.
After everyone had reluctantly departed, and the Committee band counted out of the building and onto their jolly-bus, it was down to the still remarkably happy couple and me to get the place ready for tidying up in the morning - that is, get rid of anything that was likely to ming a bit after a warm Summer's  night on the sideboard. It was at this point that I noticed Geoff struggling a bit when picking up some of the heavier items that needed moving. It turned out that he too had had a rib incident, though in his case it had been an affectionate display of exuberence by Rhodri whilst saying goodbye.
Injuries aside, having been compared and graded as to who's was worst (agree to disagree) and tidying completed, we bid goodbye to Richard, Stephie and Lilly Rainbow, who were staying the night in their camper-van, and headed back to Blackthorn.
 There was a brief bit of present opening to be done when we got back, but the exertions of a very long, very busy day meant that the siren call of our respective rooms was too much to resist. I went off to my room and inflated my air bed, then placed my courtesy ear-muffs on and settled down to sleep, dreaming of strawberries.
The day had been magnificent, and apart from the one bad strawberry, the mint for the Pimms, the tin opener for the four bean salad, and a couple of bruised ribs, it was as close to a perfect a day as Geoff and Mary - or any of the rest of us - could have wished.
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